Fast forward to now, and I feel like I’m finally able to wear and access the things I always wanted from my childhood. As a kid, Breakfast at Tiffany’s was my favorite movie in the entire world. When I was being bullied in high school, it would be my escape. I’d watch Holly Golightly and think how Audrey Hepburn was the ultimate female icon and such a role model to me. At Catholic school, I would see all the girls get their Tiffany jewelry at Christmastime, and I’d be so jealous. But growing up as a boy, I couldn’t ask my parents for something from Tiffany’s; it didn’t make sense to fit the social norm. So this year, when I booked my first big hosting gig during Pride month, I told myself, I deserve that Tiffany necklace.
Now it’s become my armor. I sleep with it. I shower with it. In a way, it’s really for my younger self. It’s for the Dylan who cried herself to sleep watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s wishing for better days. It represents the hurdles I’ve had to overcome to be able to purchase this and have the confidence to wear it. This necklace means that I’ve finally given myself permission to give in to my desires. These days, my wardrobe is very colorful, like a Skittles packet. I love looking at outfits and accessories as costume pieces and adding them to my wardrobe for a character. This necklace could be Audrey Hepburn, but it could also be Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. For a while, I was dressing like a toddler, because as I’m transitioning, I’ve been in that girlhood stage. Now, I see myself evolving into this woman finding classier clothes or feeling like I can wear a power suit and still feel feminine.
As much as womanhood isn’t about the external, it helps a lot, especially while being newly trans. So to our allies Give us a little time. It’s easy to cast judgment on someone, but we are thrown into a world we don’t know yet. Grant us grace when it comes to figuring out our style, who we are, and who we want to be perceived as. Make sure we’ve got the resources we need. You know how there are baby showers and wedding showers. My goal is to throw trans showers for new trans people. It’s a lot when you first come out, and to be able to gift someone their first Tiffany necklace. What a dream that would be. With my ‘Days of Girlhood’ series, I’m working on picking up all the pieces that were left behind in my childhood.”
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